10 Problematic Couples From Romantic Movies That'll Remind You of Single Blessedness

(SPOT.ph) Ah, romantic movies. Nothing quite like Hollywood has set up false expectations (except maybe Instagram now, but we digress). You’ve probably spent a large chunk of your time watching rom-coms, dramas, and the like, thereby messing up any real-life romantic relationship you’ve had. Oops, did that hit too hard? We’re sorry. But to remind you not-so-gently, we revisit some of the most popular couples in recent films that we cheered on—only to end up with our eyes narrowed the second time we watched them. So if you’re standing strong solo, these couples will remind you of all the stress and toxicity you oh-so-thankfully lack from your life.

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The romantic movies to watch when you need a reminder of single blessedness:

Passengers (2016)

Nothing better than being able to spend your life with the one you love, right? Wrong. Well, at least it wouldn’t be if your love has condemned you to a life aboard a ship hurtling across space with literally only each other as human company. Okay, in theory it sounds nice to live life fulfilled with only love—unless of course you’ve been tricked into it. Which is basically what Chris Pratt’s character, Jim, does to Jennifer Lawrence’s, Aurora, after he awakens on a sleeper ship transporting a bunch of hibernating people to another planet. Think Adam and Eve meets Stockholm Syndrome.

500 Days of Summer (2009)

Any romantic from the early 2000’s knows just how much this movie was lauded as a fresh take on a relationship that just didn’t work out, and how the tables soon turned after it got called out for pushing the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope. Joseph Gordon Levitt himself tweeted in 2018 that “It’s mostly Tom’s fault.” So yup, we’re calling it. Sure, we can spend our days thinking about all the cute indie shit they did together, but that doesn’t erase the fact that Zooey Deschanel’s character, Summer, was never a full person with agency in Tom’s eyes, and therefore in the movie itself, too. Take it as a lesson to leave people who clearly don’t see you as a person, much less an equal—and how to dress vintage, too. Thanks, Deschanel.

Blue Valentine (2010)

Now if Netflix's Marriage Story isn’t a painful enough reminder of just how far south a previously loving relationship can go, we say give Blue Valentine a try. It follows two souls who find each other at pretty low moments and realize hey, maybe life ain’t so bad if I’ve got this other person it. Spoiler alert: their lives get worse together. We can’t possibly give this raw take on two people making one bad decision after another justice in one short paragraph, all we can say is prepare lots of emotional fortitude before watching this one. Plus points for the incredibl(y heartbreaking) performances of Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. Oh, and in one of the few bright moments of this film, they even sing and dance a bit together.

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Do we really need to expound? Sex doesn’t magically make your relationship problems go away. Even if it is damn good sex (supposedly). The incredibly left-field and convoluted story between plain jane Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) and, get this, 27-year-old billionaire-slash-CEO-slash-has-weird-kinks-and-the-money-to-back-it Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) is nothing short of pure (badly made) fanfiction. Which it essentially is.

The Kissing Booth (2018)

There hasn’t been a teenage romance as problematic as this since Romeo and Juliet—we kid. Seriously speaking though, the amount of stress Elle (Joey King) goes through thanks to the overly controlling Noah (Jacob Elordi), her supposed lover boy, just isn’t it. The two are constantly fighting, and Lee (Joel Courtney) isn’t much help either. Come on, the fact that what sparked their relationship is Noah noticing she has boobs now and then promptly victim-blaming her after defending her should have been big enough red flags from the start.

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Sierra Burgess Is a Loser (2018)

Alternative title: Sierra Burgess is a catfish. Okay, there’s no denying they were going for some rather noble overarching themes here of self-love and girl power—it just didn’t hit. We can’t overlook the fact that Sierra (Shannon Purser) was lying to Jamey (Noah Centineo) and essentially leading him on the entire time; add in the very over-the-top revenge schemes, given they are high schoolers, and it’s another “No” from us.

Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

Look, how hard would it have been for Nick (Henry Golding) to have given his girlfriend Constance (Rachel Chu) some sort of heads up on what his family’s like? Honestly. He takes her across the globe and basically abandons her to their whims—not even an “Oh, this is mom’s favorite fruit.” If there’s something every Asian couple, perhaps any couple really, goes through, it’s a full-on training session for when SO finally meets the family—covering everything from a specific form of greeting to which relative to avoid. Constance, of course, comes through with an epic mah jong victory we’re still not over, and sure, he tries to make up for everything by flying her mom in—still, we can’t help but wonder just how much could have been avoided if he had been honest and helpful from the start. 

Marriage Story (2019)

Ah, this film was so good a pivotal scene of the couple arguing has been meme-d to hell and back. A true mark of greatness, if we do say so ourselves. We’re sure you’ve watched this barebones look of a marriage simply crumbling apart, helpless as you watch the breakdown between aspiring actress Nicole (Scarlett Johannson) and theater director (Charlie Barber). And no matter how much we hoped they could make their love last, well, something about Driver’s character telling the mother of his child he wished she was dead just says “nope, no, nuh-uh, absolutely not.” We’d like to get off the ride now, please.

The Notebook (2004)

We know, we know. This is supposedly one of the greatest romantic movies of all time—and Ryan Gosling’s second appearance on this list—but we can’t be the only ones with raised eyebrows upon second watch. At the beginning of their romance, Noah’s (Gosling) inability to accept “No” as an answer should have been a major red flag, one that Allie (Rachel McAdams) did actually try to get away from. Noah then spent the rest of the, erm, courtship basically being obsessed and making grand dramatic gestures, throughout literal years. Okay, now imagine the same thing happening to a couple that isn’t Hollywood-levels of gorgeousness. Yeah, pretty creepy, isn’t it?

Twilight (2008) 

“Hold on tight, spider monkey.” This term of endearment will rightfully go down the annals of Internet history. And so will, unfortunately, the glistening example of teenage over-dependency that is Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Bella (Kristen Stewart). The fact that the stars themselves don’t exactly wish to be remembered for these roles is a sure sign this romantic story does not hold up. If you ever need an almost-funny reminder of just how dramatic and toxic young, immature love can get, you know what to watch.